she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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