i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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