didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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