your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
