Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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