God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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