forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
