So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
