I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
