I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
