I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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