I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
