Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
