last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
