found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
