another moral hangover. fuck.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Bring me that man meat
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize