we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
