ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
