I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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