I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
