dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
