They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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