I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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