The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
