my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
