I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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