Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize