he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize