So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
