since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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