Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
