We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish they made helmets for livers.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
there is puke in my bra ... again
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