Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
