operation have a gay friend backfired
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
