you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
be right there i have to get my cape
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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