i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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