no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
