i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
