You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
