So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
