So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
