Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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