Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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