You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
