the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Someone shit on the floor
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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