My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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