I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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