that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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