drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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