Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
