...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
