I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
