the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
