I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
