My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
