You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
