New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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