By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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