Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
