Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
