Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
