Nicole vs. Life
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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