I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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