Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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