i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
