Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
