oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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