You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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