hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
