If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
