the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
