We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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