Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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